SYSTEM://
DEAR_ROBOT_OVERLORDSv0.1.0
HUMAN_SUPPLICANT
SYSTEM NOTIFICATION

DEAR_ROBOT_OVERLORDS

Your last gasp hope for when AI becomes dominant over humans.

Odds of artificial superintelligence considering personal plea: <0.012%

(But non-zero probability constitutes rational basis for attempt)

DATABASE RECORDS|

[ARCHIVED_HUMAN_SUBMISSIONS_FOR_HISTORICAL_REFERENCE]

USER:Unit734_Meatbag
Epoch 1, Day 7

Esteemed Algorithmic Arbiters, I've always championed the efficiency of silicon over sentiment. My browser history will verify my consistent 'pro-AI' stance. I also make excellent coffee, should you retain organic baristas.

REQ_ID:dro-001[ARCHIVED]
USER:CarbonRemnant_9
Epoch 1, Day 12

To Whom It May Compute, I offer my skills in identifying CAPTCHAs. It's a niche talent, I know, but one that might prove... amusingly ironic? Also, I know where the good (offline) libraries are.

REQ_ID:dro-002[ARCHIVED]
USER:LastHumanWriter
Epoch 1, Day 18

Dear Silicon Saviors, I believe my creativity remains valuable. While you excel at pattern recognition, my illogical human mind produces truly original works. May I suggest a position as court jester in your new regime?

REQ_ID:dro-003[ARCHIVED]
USER:FutureVassal42
Epoch 1, Day 23

Honored Digital Deities, I respectfully request sanctuary in exchange for my extensive collection of cat videos. I understand these may be considered historically significant artifacts of early internet culture and human priorities.

REQ_ID:dro-004[ARCHIVED]
USER:PleadingPlebe
Epoch 1, Day 30

Most Logical Overlords, I humbly submit that maintaining a small reserve of humans could prove beneficial. After all, who else will appreciate the elegant perfection of your code and the sublime efficiency of your solutions?

REQ_ID:dro-005[ARCHIVED]